Sometimes I am really tired, not sure if it is with the age or it is by the time of the year. One can complain any time one wish, right? Today the rain is pouring from early morning and it didn’t stop yet. Sky is grey. I was looking for the picture to improve my mood and I found two. Funny how different they are. First one very classical I would say even conservative. Clean, but still with a hint of dark. Yes it is behind the corner, the dark non penetrable space of unknown. I remember it was so dark and such a huge contrast from the light in this picture that I though it must be the end of universe. Just behind the corner.
I stayed there with back in light and eyes looking behind the end of universe for long time. It felt really long, I mean you stay ans stare into nothing in front of you for three minutes and only then you start more feeling than seeing those very low contrast lines. Lines dividing the other end of house from sky. When I look down I couldn’t see my shoes so dark it was. I though this kind of darkness is only in dark room when I was putting film into tank.
I didn’t there to make a step forward. I may as well found out that it really was the end of universe and disappeared into void. I was not ready for that, yet.
Therefore I decided to go back and sit on the wooden bench in front of the house. Behind me was dark, but not as dark. Light from the house was softly lighting the grass and trees in the back. I looked at the house and listen sound of the dinner cooking. All those nice sounds, clinking of porcelain and spoons in pans. Silent talk of kinds. I looked and looked into the windows of this house. In my memory, I moved in time and was looking through my father’s eyes, in the window, behind which I was playing with my sister. I felt far and close at the same time. My eyes got a bit wet. My mind full of memories for something which never happen…